How My Boyfriend Made Me a Better Person

Upon reading Timothy Tiah's blog on the ways his wife made him a better person, I became inspired to write about mine too. I actually wanted to write something similar long ago but didn't manage to take initiative to do so. 

I guess it makes a person wanting to share how his/her partner makes him/her a better person only when it's really true. But I beg to differ something Timothy mentioned. He said most of the time, a partner is going to bring upon positive changes to you. To me, only the right partner does because if you're being with a bad/wrong one, he/she will never make you a better person. Well, this is according to my own experiences. 

First of all, let me briefly introduce my partner, Kingsley and I. 

I am not going to reveal much here but I have to say he's not only my boyfriend, he's also my soulmate, work partner, best friend and almost like a family!

So how have I positively changed since I met him?

1. I did things I never knew I could

Somehow he managed to trigger all the buttons in me to perform, strive and achieve things I didn't know I could. He told me to start a blog, he encouraged me to do three things at once (study, blog, tutoring) and recently, he urged me to get a camera. He always tells me how I should have more confidence, more adamant and more ambitious. 

2. I learned photography from him

Two years ago, if you told/ask me anything about photography, I'd give you a blank stare or simply shun you off. But now, I can roughly interact with anyone about photography. Well, not too technical or sophisticated but at least I am now passionate to learn and improve. I didn't think taking photos mean so much hard work but now I fathom why. 

3. I learned to watch American Series

To me, this is a positive change. Despite being a banana (meaning, Chinese illiterate), I used to have strong Chinese-y attributes in me. I loved Chinese songs and I mostly watched Chinese dramas (Hong Kong and Taiwan). But Kingsley is an avid fan of American Series and on average, he has 30 series to watch every week! So God knows how he talked me into watching Prison Break and snapped, I began loving the American style and now I'm hooked onto a few series myself, namely Suits, The 100, Arrow, Under The Dome and recently I started Breaking Bad (I'm slow I know). So come talk to me about these series! But not Game of Thrones please (God knows why I just don't fancy it). 

4. I learned to eat and be really picky about food

The me before meeting him was extremely "cincai" when it came to food. I was so not picky about food to the extent that food was merely something to keep my stomach filled and an energy source. Don't take me wrong, I have a dad who brings me around for good food but I wouldn't have high expectations. Now, I have learned to savour, appreciate, comment and even criticise. But of course, I am still less fastidious than him in this aspect. I can accept eating anything mediocre as long as it's within my acceptable taste boundary. 

5. I have learned to love, tolerate and be in a relationship

I am one who doesn't like being in a wrong relationship so whenever I sense something not right, I would choose to leave. I have this belief that being alone is better than being with a wrong partner. But I can confess Kingsley is the right one. Half of him is just like half of me, if you get what I mean. We're similar in many many ways and probably this is the reason why we can get along very well. But as days passed, we realized we do have differences and thankfully, we have strong mutual appreciation. 

Why do I say I have learned to be in a relationship? Frankly speaking, I used to doubt myself whenever I was with my ex-es but now, I am totally in the relationship without doubts. I don't worry about whether I should leave him or if I am wasting my time or anxious about our future. 

I feel this is incredibly important because if you do not enjoy being in the relationship, it also implies you are not being yourself and why are you still clinging onto the wrong partner?

So yeah, for now I have five strong points to say how he has helped me become a better person. I hope he feels the same way! :)

My View of Valentine's Day

Time passes so quickly that without realizing, Valentine's is just the day after today. Well, I stumbled upon Janechuck's blog post about celebrating Valentine's Day and for the first time, I agree with her. haha! Yeah, I am not really fond of her but after reading this post, I might (MIGHT) change my perspective towards her. 

Speaking of Valentine's Day, as niche as it may sound, I truly believe that everyday is a Valentine's Day if a couple is happy enough being together. Of course, why would a couple only be good and sweet and romantic to each other on a very particular day in a year when they could do so the entire 365 days? 

I think the best and sweetest Valentine's celebration is a simple dinner (better if self-cooked, otherwise a normal restaurant is more than enough), followed by the couple cuddling to watch a romantic or their favourite movie together. There is definitely no need to spend on posh meals (candlelight dinner?), overrated and overpriced flowers (that would eventually die), and other lovey dovey gifts. BUT if your gift is a handmade card, then it's perfectly awesome. I always look up more upon sincerity than monetary. 

You might think that I am too self-conscious about money but I confess that I really am. What I feel is, if a couple were serious about being together in a long-lasting relationship, they should be money conscious, considering the inflation that is occurring right now. I prefer to save for a better and more realistic future. 

Some people might say, Valentine's is a good excuse for boyfriends/husbands to pamper their spouses but you don't really need an occasion to pamper your girlfriends/wives, do you? 

And Jane is right, some people misuse Valentine's celebration as a show-off tool to compete with their girlfriends. Let me tell you, true love is never comparable, it is not measurable through materials - it is the heart that counts. It is the longevity and strength of your love that matters at the end of the day. 

Therefore, I say my man is a lucky man because I do not demand for luxurious gifts or fine dinings for the day's celebration. I even told him on the first day when we got together, "Do not waste money by buying me flowers, just bring me for a simple dinner on Valentine's Day". 

Happy Valentine's Day dear 

Thank you for being my Valentine! <3

My Relationship Tips #1

Can't believe I'm actually writing about being in a relationship tips. Don't get me wrong, I ain't any expert but the things that I'm going to highlight are just my two cents, mostly learned through experience. I have been in relationships, some good some bad. My current relationship with Kingsley is so far the best, I would say. I'll separate all the tips into several posts as I intend to go into minute details as well. 

The first thing couples need to learn is to COMMUNICATE. 

To me the most important element in a relationship is to communicate. Communicate doesn't mean merely talking to each other but it means letting your partner knows how you feel to enhance mutual understanding. But there are ways to communicate - you need to take into consideration the tone, words, and when to communicate. 

WHEN? For my boyfriend and I, we stick to the rule of communicating every day, even if we do not meet one another. Meaning, we should at least talk once a day and we wish each other "Good morning" and "Good night" every single day, even when we're seeing each other. I don't know how we have got accustomed to this habit. Do not forgo the need of talking - texting your partner by just wishing him/her a good day would really brighten up his/her day. 

WHAT? Communication isn't easy, especially when you do not know what to talk to your partner. But I feel if both of you were to become a couple, it is natural that you have endless of topics to share and discuss. BUT do not assume your partner is a psychological listener and you whine and complain everything to him/her. Complaining is the worst type of communication you should do - it simply means you are very negative and you're trying to emit all negativities to your partner which is very bad. You can share a little about your problems (probably a little into finding solutions) then go on to the good ones - you do not have a partner just to burden them with your problems. Jokes and teases (don't overly tease) are among the best things to share because it creates laughter and laughing together makes great moments and memories. 

TONE? Always maintain at a calm and carefree tone. If you could remain easygoing, especially when you think an argument is about to strike (for instance, during a heated discussion/debate), you would do yourself good by avoiding a potential fight. This is something I really like about my boyfriend, each time I thought he was about to get angry, he hit a joke and laughed himself which made me laughed too and we got away from arguing. DO NOT ever shout or increase your voice because that's when your partner thinks you're in for a fight. If you're really angry, keep silent and calm down before telling your partner about it then find ways to compromise. 

WHAT IF AN ARGUMENT HAS STRUCK? If you already happen to be in an argument and both of you are really angered or upset, don't mind being the first to speak up - it doesn't mean you're a loser, it simply implies you have better control over your emotions. This is the best time to explain (in a soft and respectful manner) to your partner about how you feel (your problems, what you find annoying, etc.). BUT do not interrupt (by counter-attacking) what your partner says and DO NOT attempt to win the debate - blocking what your partner has to say will only deteriorates the argument. LISTEN AND THINK. 

Most couples forgo minute things when they get comfortable with one another. For instance, people do not usually say "thank you" anymore to their partners after going through the so-called "stable" stage. Some might think partners should know and understand their appreciation and some would say "Aiya we understand each other so there is no need for thank you". To me, you say "thank you" to strangers and friends then why not to family or partner? It is the simplest token of appreciation, apart from other major things that you could do. 

Tell your partners how you truly feel about them, especially if it's something good. Let them know they look beautiful or if they have done something really well, be generous with praises. At times, even if you do not think they are good, assume that you're saying for the sake of saying. But it's so much better if you're really being honest and sincere. Praises are not meant to be traded (some people say it when they want to demand/request something) - they should also be a form of appreciation and a good relationship builder. 

All in all, always remember to say good things instead of bad. Everyone loves listening to sweet words and be around joyful emotions - it creates positivity that would make your relationship so much better. 

Chinese New Year 2014 (Part 1)

It's the time of the year again! Chinese New Year has always been one of my favourite moments of the year. Not for the ang paos but for the vibe and environment as well as the quality time to spend with my family, friends and relatives. 

So CNY eve was the day for Reunion Dinner and after that, it was ang pao time!

I decided to wear green on the first day of CNY as it is deemed to be lucky colour for the Chinese Zodiac Dragon :)

Clovis and I 

With my younger sis, Elaine

I continued day 2 with a gray dress and simple look. Visiting resumed. 

We decided to do something challenging on Day 3 by conquering Broga Hill! 

My parents were so proud to reach the peak 

Faces of sweat 

Being greeted by the sun rise was probably the best thing upon climbing the hill. 

My family

After that I went over to meet my boyfriend and spent the two days with him and his friends. 

 Day 4 at Kingsley's house

My friends came over to my house on the night of Day 4 and they had a surprise belated birthday celebration for Yee Ling and I. 

Yee Ling shares the same birth date with me and we have been best friends for almost 8 years! 

Great CNY so far and I hope things would continue to grow better! All the best everyone!

AWESOME Things in 2014 #3

Awesome things in 2014 #2 was my birthday so yes, this is #3!

What is it?

It is me and my boyfriend's FIRST year anniversary! <3

Our first picture together

I think probably time has been moving on a rocket speed, it's been 356 days since "we" decided to hold hands! HAHAHA *shows tongue*

I am definitely more than glad to have met you and gone through the first year with you. I can't literally pen down every memory that we created but we certainly had more happier than sad times together. 

We have so many things in common (you and I know what they are) but yet we have certain distinct characteristics that make us unique the way we are. And I am grateful that we appreciate each other's good and weak points and help one another to develop greater personality to be a better person. 

I just wanna say thank you for being there for me through good and bad times. Thank you for showing me what I'm really capable of doing, for making me see hopes beyond my sight and bringing out the better side of me I didn't even know I had. I hope we could continue this journey for as long as we wish. 

Happy First Anniversary and many more to come! :)

During our Melaka trip

AWESOME Things in 2014 #1

Happy Birthday Mr.Kingsley Tan KF! 

I was looking forward to January and February 2014 because plenty of good things are going to happen. First and foremost, I'm posting this early because I would be out celebrating with you tomorrow. Happy Birthday in advance and many happy returns of the day! I hope you will prosper in your current job and achieve what you wished for! And most importantly, you know you'll my support in whatever you do. All the best and love you! <3