My View of Valentine's Day

Time passes so quickly that without realizing, Valentine's is just the day after today. Well, I stumbled upon Janechuck's blog post about celebrating Valentine's Day and for the first time, I agree with her. haha! Yeah, I am not really fond of her but after reading this post, I might (MIGHT) change my perspective towards her. 

Speaking of Valentine's Day, as niche as it may sound, I truly believe that everyday is a Valentine's Day if a couple is happy enough being together. Of course, why would a couple only be good and sweet and romantic to each other on a very particular day in a year when they could do so the entire 365 days? 

I think the best and sweetest Valentine's celebration is a simple dinner (better if self-cooked, otherwise a normal restaurant is more than enough), followed by the couple cuddling to watch a romantic or their favourite movie together. There is definitely no need to spend on posh meals (candlelight dinner?), overrated and overpriced flowers (that would eventually die), and other lovey dovey gifts. BUT if your gift is a handmade card, then it's perfectly awesome. I always look up more upon sincerity than monetary. 

You might think that I am too self-conscious about money but I confess that I really am. What I feel is, if a couple were serious about being together in a long-lasting relationship, they should be money conscious, considering the inflation that is occurring right now. I prefer to save for a better and more realistic future. 

Some people might say, Valentine's is a good excuse for boyfriends/husbands to pamper their spouses but you don't really need an occasion to pamper your girlfriends/wives, do you? 

And Jane is right, some people misuse Valentine's celebration as a show-off tool to compete with their girlfriends. Let me tell you, true love is never comparable, it is not measurable through materials - it is the heart that counts. It is the longevity and strength of your love that matters at the end of the day. 

Therefore, I say my man is a lucky man because I do not demand for luxurious gifts or fine dinings for the day's celebration. I even told him on the first day when we got together, "Do not waste money by buying me flowers, just bring me for a simple dinner on Valentine's Day". 

Happy Valentine's Day dear 

Thank you for being my Valentine! <3

My Relationship Tips #1

Can't believe I'm actually writing about being in a relationship tips. Don't get me wrong, I ain't any expert but the things that I'm going to highlight are just my two cents, mostly learned through experience. I have been in relationships, some good some bad. My current relationship with Kingsley is so far the best, I would say. I'll separate all the tips into several posts as I intend to go into minute details as well. 

The first thing couples need to learn is to COMMUNICATE. 

To me the most important element in a relationship is to communicate. Communicate doesn't mean merely talking to each other but it means letting your partner knows how you feel to enhance mutual understanding. But there are ways to communicate - you need to take into consideration the tone, words, and when to communicate. 

WHEN? For my boyfriend and I, we stick to the rule of communicating every day, even if we do not meet one another. Meaning, we should at least talk once a day and we wish each other "Good morning" and "Good night" every single day, even when we're seeing each other. I don't know how we have got accustomed to this habit. Do not forgo the need of talking - texting your partner by just wishing him/her a good day would really brighten up his/her day. 

WHAT? Communication isn't easy, especially when you do not know what to talk to your partner. But I feel if both of you were to become a couple, it is natural that you have endless of topics to share and discuss. BUT do not assume your partner is a psychological listener and you whine and complain everything to him/her. Complaining is the worst type of communication you should do - it simply means you are very negative and you're trying to emit all negativities to your partner which is very bad. You can share a little about your problems (probably a little into finding solutions) then go on to the good ones - you do not have a partner just to burden them with your problems. Jokes and teases (don't overly tease) are among the best things to share because it creates laughter and laughing together makes great moments and memories. 

TONE? Always maintain at a calm and carefree tone. If you could remain easygoing, especially when you think an argument is about to strike (for instance, during a heated discussion/debate), you would do yourself good by avoiding a potential fight. This is something I really like about my boyfriend, each time I thought he was about to get angry, he hit a joke and laughed himself which made me laughed too and we got away from arguing. DO NOT ever shout or increase your voice because that's when your partner thinks you're in for a fight. If you're really angry, keep silent and calm down before telling your partner about it then find ways to compromise. 

WHAT IF AN ARGUMENT HAS STRUCK? If you already happen to be in an argument and both of you are really angered or upset, don't mind being the first to speak up - it doesn't mean you're a loser, it simply implies you have better control over your emotions. This is the best time to explain (in a soft and respectful manner) to your partner about how you feel (your problems, what you find annoying, etc.). BUT do not interrupt (by counter-attacking) what your partner says and DO NOT attempt to win the debate - blocking what your partner has to say will only deteriorates the argument. LISTEN AND THINK. 

Most couples forgo minute things when they get comfortable with one another. For instance, people do not usually say "thank you" anymore to their partners after going through the so-called "stable" stage. Some might think partners should know and understand their appreciation and some would say "Aiya we understand each other so there is no need for thank you". To me, you say "thank you" to strangers and friends then why not to family or partner? It is the simplest token of appreciation, apart from other major things that you could do. 

Tell your partners how you truly feel about them, especially if it's something good. Let them know they look beautiful or if they have done something really well, be generous with praises. At times, even if you do not think they are good, assume that you're saying for the sake of saying. But it's so much better if you're really being honest and sincere. Praises are not meant to be traded (some people say it when they want to demand/request something) - they should also be a form of appreciation and a good relationship builder. 

All in all, always remember to say good things instead of bad. Everyone loves listening to sweet words and be around joyful emotions - it creates positivity that would make your relationship so much better.