I seem to discover and discuss so much about parenting nowadays - my student and a book about parenting. Very likely it's due to the age growth and I may become a parent some time in the near future (near future implies years for me, haha).
Out a of a random thought, I came to ponder about the saying "adults are always right". It may be true to a certain extent but despite most parents being aware that this saying could be wrong, they insist to enforce their authority on children because they are the parents. They are the financial, shelter and protection provider.
When I was young, each time I felt my parent(s) was wrong, I couldn't muster the guts to rebel. I felt so powerless and the only thing I could do was comply and obey. But now when I'm already an adult (i know i'm always a baby in their eyes), my parents are the same - they still impose their authority unto me by thinking they are always right.
The other day when I was speaking in the phone, my dad was telling me things when he clearly knew I was talking with the other party over the phone. I got annoyed and said, "Can't you see I am talking in the phone and why are you still telling me things? I can't even hear anything!". Instead of stopping, he snapped me back, "Do important things first, your talking in the phone isn't important at all!". BUT the issue here isn't about the importance of the call, it was about the fundamental respect that he should have for me. IF he were the one in the phone and I mumble next to him, I can never imagine how angry he could have got. YET I can never have my temper burst out to him because he's my dad and he deserves all my respect?
Well, I ain't whining about my dad but this is the closest example that I can think of right now. Is it a right thing to do for parents to use or sometimes misuse their parental authority on children? In fact, some parents (including mine) are so ego they wouldn't ever apologize if they have done anything wrong. I am thinking it could be the culture problem where parents were raised in such a way thus they are subconsciously imposing the same method on their children.
But I think such an act would bring about negative impact on children. In school, the elderly people that kids encounter are teachers and with what they practise at home, they might also think teachers are always right (which is certainly not) and fear to rebel or stand up for themselves. What if a male teacher sexually harrasses a female student and because she thinks teachers are always right, she silences herself?
Children should be raised and taught to have their own mindset, to learn and distinguish right from wrong by themselves. They will NOT understand if something is good or bad just by listening to what their parents say. So instead of being harsh and asking children to just "listen and obey", parents should "tell and explain why". If you cannot figure out an explanation, look for an answer (not any crappy ones but logical, sensible reasons) to convince your kids!
