5 Things I Learned From Doing Charity

Some of you may not know but I am a charitable person. What I mean with this is I often perform good deeds within my means. I can't say I am a philanthropist but I wish to become one in the future. Perhaps through family influence or an inborn nature, I have this strong compassion to help make the world a better place. And I believe what I can do is to give and share what I have with the less fortunate. 

At one point of my life, I had this gigantic dream to be the founder of a huge humanitarian association, maybe something like World Vision (I always use this as example because I like their concept and system, except Famine 30 lol). But I know this is a dream not easily achievable. So I decided to take one step at a time because every single human being is capable of giving/sharing. Charity isn't only available in monetary form but also in labour, words, items etc. 

My sponsor child in Vietnam, currently 16 years old already (sponsoring her since she's 9)

Today I am sharing my experience with you guys on what I've learned through the years of doing a small scale charity. I started way back in 2004 when I was still a Form 4 student in SMK Convent, Klang. I still am a student and donating and helping the less fortunate has become a habit for me. Currently, I am a sponsor of a child in Vietnam via World Vision (monthly donation of RM65) and I visit/donate to old folks home, hospices, orphanages, handicapped homes, etc. on a regular basis. 

1. I learned to see how fortunate I am 

Like everyone else, I had times when I whined about what I was deprived of (or so I thought). I didn't have a silver spoon and I couldn't possibly possess some of the things my friends had due to my parents' unaffordability. But no, I didn't lack any of the necessities I needed. My parents provided me with a comfortable shade I called home, a perfect source of education (along with tuition and tonnes of books), nutritious food and a conducive environment to grow up in. But humans are greedy so I didn't realize how lucky I was until ...

My aunt brought to the handicapped centre (Pusat Kanak-kanak Cacat) in Port Klang. I saw how some of the kids there were Down Syndrome and all their lives, they had to be bedridden. They couldn't speak, sit or express themselves. There were others who were blind and those who had the ability to walk around and socialize, were retarded. Most of them were abandoned there by their parents. 

And I went home digesting the flashes of images in my mind. Some time after that, the realization hit me that I have been very very fortunate all this while. Slowly, I found myself complaining lesser and lesser (cannot totally wipe this off though, it's human nature to complain, haha!). I have learned not to pinpoint what I lack but to cherish what I have. 

2. I learned how a small effort is capable of making a huge difference to a person

I can't recall how I got to know World Vision but I just did. I stumbled upon their Child Sponsorship programme and I thought it was really cool. I pay RM50 (back then it was RM50) and someone else in another country would receive it. Little that I know that World Vision doesn't hand the money directly to them but accumulate them all together to assist them in ways that they need. 

I pondered to myself if I could afford to pay RM50 a month, equalling to RM600 a year! But then I thought, well, I could cut down on my expenses. So without hesitating, I signed myself up as a sponsor and until today, I have been religiously paying the monthly stipend to my "child" in Vietnam. 

Every year, World Vision will send me a progress report and every other month or so I will receive a letter from my "child" telling me about her life or drawing me something cute. I see how she has grown from a young little girl to a teenager now. And from a small town with almost nothing (no water, electricity and telephone line), World Vision has helped to bring in fundamental resources as well as build hospital, school, etc. 

It feels really magical how someone who is completely unknown to me, speaks a totally different language, lives some 1404 miles away, has a bond with me. And I feel exceptionally great that my meagre amount of RM50 (or 65) has shed so much light in the life of this young girl. 

3. I learned that karma isn't a bitch

People say when you do something good, it will return to you. As the Chinese saying goes, 好心有好报. I didn't quite believe this because I thought life is all up to you to conquer and control. My belief changed after I began performing good deeds. 

I can't say I have physically or literally seen how my they returned to me but I can somehow feel it. I still encounter problems, get involved in troubles, battle with obstacles but I can feel how something with profound power has been helping me to overcome all these. 

It doesn't return in a direct or immediate manner but rather, with time and patience, you'd be able to see or feel it. The only thing you need to have is faith. 

4. I have become less religionist 

I learned that religion is a faith you hold onto as a guide in life but a religionist does not necessarily have a good heart. We've seen this in movies (Hong Kong ones especially) how gangsters, loan sharks or people of the black market prays enthusiastically to "God". And in reality, I've seen and met such people too. 

They go completely hoo-ha about their religion and how it is the best in the world and yet they're doing bad things behind their religion. Some say their religion forbid them in eating certain things but they end up not walking what they talk. 

I have come to believe that religion doesn't determine a person's morale. It is an individual thing. ALL religions in the world are good; there is NO religion that teaches doing evil stuffs. But I truly despise those who misuse their religion or not doing what they preach. 

5. I learned the true value of money

My monthly commitment of the child sponsorship programme as well as occasionally visits and donations will definitely take its toll on my finance. My part time job does not generate a wealthy pool of money and every cent is earned through hard work. Therefore, I learned to prioritise and weigh the importance of certain things over the others. 

I spend very minimally on shopping. I do not have a monthly habit of buying clothes, bags or shoes. I do not club or splurge on alcohol. I do not spend on unnecessary items. But I am generous to spend on food, travel and my parents. 

I hope all of you will benefit from this writing of mine. 

Thank you for reading! 

Are you pronouncing these words the WRONG way?

Mispronunciations are another major issue in English, especially for non-native speakers like many of us Malaysians. We struggle to fathom why certain words are pronounced as they are when our brain clearly deciphers it differently. For instance, why dessert and desert have different pronunciations when its difference is only an 's' but threw and through are pronounced the same way despite being totally dissimilar in spelling. 

1. blood, flood 

Most people pronounce 'blood' and 'flood' as if they sound like 'blurt' and 'flirt' but they're actually more towards 'blard' and 'flard'. Check out this video for the correct pronunciation. 

2. Honest/Hour/all the silent H

I have students telling me how they 'hor-nest' they are. But the fact is, all these 'h's are silent. Meaning, you say 'o-nest' for 'honest' and 'our' for 'hour'. 

3. Espresso 

This word is often mispronounced as expresso when it's supposed to be 'es-pres-so'. 

3. Suite

Have you ever since the label 'Presidential Suite' when you visit hotels/resorts? The word 'suite' seems to have stronger resemblance to 'suit' but it's actually pronounced similarly to 'sweet'. 

4. Hyperbole

This is a mispronunciation that I've been doing myself too (but I've always been curious because it didn't sound right) so now I know! 'Hyperbole' implies an exaggerating effect and it's not pronounced as 'hyper-bowl' because a bowl cannot be overly exaggerated. It's pronounced as 'hyper-boh-lee'. 

5. Cache 

'Cache' is often mispronounced as 'ca-shay' but this pronunciation belongs to cachet, which means the state of being respected. 'Cache', carrying the meaning of a group of hidden items stored in a hidden place, is pronounced just like how you say 'cash'. 

6. Niche

Just like cache, 'niche' should end with a soft -sh so it's wrong when people say 'nitch' because it's supposed to be 'neesh'. 'Niche' carries two meanings: a shallow recess usually in a wall to place an ornament OR a suitable position in life or employment. 

7. Buoy

'Buoy' isn't any different from 'boy', in pronunciation. It simply means a float or keep someone/something afloat. 

8. Debris

Here, the 's' is silent so you pronounce it as 'de-bree'. 

9. Mischievous

Very often, this word is misspelled and mispronounced as 'mischievious'. It should be 'mis-chie-vous' without the 'i'. It implies naughty or playful. 

10. Subtle 

'Subtle' is pronounced as 'suh-tull' with a silent b, meaning delicately complex and difficult to describe. 

11. Queue / Quay

'Queue' is pronounced as 'cue' while 'quay' is read as 'key'. Quay, for your information, is similar to a pier or jetty. 

12. Athlete 

The word 'athlete' should be pronounced with only two syllables - 'ath-lete' and not 'a-the-lete'. 

So there you go, pronouncing English words the English way. Yes, I do agree English words have tricky pronunciation but have fun learning! 

Disclaimer: I do not label myself as an English expert but sharing also means learning. Nobody has perfect English but I believe learning knows no boundary. Feel free to correct me by commenting on my blog or Facebook posts/profile. I also welcome suggestions, ideas and any English-related info. 

How My Boyfriend Made Me a Better Person

Upon reading Timothy Tiah's blog on the ways his wife made him a better person, I became inspired to write about mine too. I actually wanted to write something similar long ago but didn't manage to take initiative to do so. 

I guess it makes a person wanting to share how his/her partner makes him/her a better person only when it's really true. But I beg to differ something Timothy mentioned. He said most of the time, a partner is going to bring upon positive changes to you. To me, only the right partner does because if you're being with a bad/wrong one, he/she will never make you a better person. Well, this is according to my own experiences. 

First of all, let me briefly introduce my partner, Kingsley and I. 

I am not going to reveal much here but I have to say he's not only my boyfriend, he's also my soulmate, work partner, best friend and almost like a family!

So how have I positively changed since I met him?

1. I did things I never knew I could

Somehow he managed to trigger all the buttons in me to perform, strive and achieve things I didn't know I could. He told me to start a blog, he encouraged me to do three things at once (study, blog, tutoring) and recently, he urged me to get a camera. He always tells me how I should have more confidence, more adamant and more ambitious. 

2. I learned photography from him

Two years ago, if you told/ask me anything about photography, I'd give you a blank stare or simply shun you off. But now, I can roughly interact with anyone about photography. Well, not too technical or sophisticated but at least I am now passionate to learn and improve. I didn't think taking photos mean so much hard work but now I fathom why. 

3. I learned to watch American Series

To me, this is a positive change. Despite being a banana (meaning, Chinese illiterate), I used to have strong Chinese-y attributes in me. I loved Chinese songs and I mostly watched Chinese dramas (Hong Kong and Taiwan). But Kingsley is an avid fan of American Series and on average, he has 30 series to watch every week! So God knows how he talked me into watching Prison Break and snapped, I began loving the American style and now I'm hooked onto a few series myself, namely Suits, The 100, Arrow, Under The Dome and recently I started Breaking Bad (I'm slow I know). So come talk to me about these series! But not Game of Thrones please (God knows why I just don't fancy it). 

4. I learned to eat and be really picky about food

The me before meeting him was extremely "cincai" when it came to food. I was so not picky about food to the extent that food was merely something to keep my stomach filled and an energy source. Don't take me wrong, I have a dad who brings me around for good food but I wouldn't have high expectations. Now, I have learned to savour, appreciate, comment and even criticise. But of course, I am still less fastidious than him in this aspect. I can accept eating anything mediocre as long as it's within my acceptable taste boundary. 

5. I have learned to love, tolerate and be in a relationship

I am one who doesn't like being in a wrong relationship so whenever I sense something not right, I would choose to leave. I have this belief that being alone is better than being with a wrong partner. But I can confess Kingsley is the right one. Half of him is just like half of me, if you get what I mean. We're similar in many many ways and probably this is the reason why we can get along very well. But as days passed, we realized we do have differences and thankfully, we have strong mutual appreciation. 

Why do I say I have learned to be in a relationship? Frankly speaking, I used to doubt myself whenever I was with my ex-es but now, I am totally in the relationship without doubts. I don't worry about whether I should leave him or if I am wasting my time or anxious about our future. 

I feel this is incredibly important because if you do not enjoy being in the relationship, it also implies you are not being yourself and why are you still clinging onto the wrong partner?

So yeah, for now I have five strong points to say how he has helped me become a better person. I hope he feels the same way! :)

Singularity & Plurality of English Nouns

Have you ever wondered why scissors always ends with an 's'? My teacher used to tell me everything that has a pair in it is always plural. For instance, glasses, jeans, pants, etc. However, that is not always the case. I made some reading and found a clear understanding of the singularity and plurality of some nouns. 

1. Cutting/Clipping Utensils

First, take a look at these items:

Scissors

Pliers

 Forceps 

Tongs 

Tweezers

As you can see, all of these items have double sides thus we classify them as being always plural. Therefore, we cannot say 'a scissor' or 'there is a scissor'; it is always 'a pair of scissors' or 'there are scissors'. So if you wish to say more than one scissors, you still say 'there are many scissors'. 

However, there are also tools that have two joined parts yet they are not always plural. 

Bear Trap

Flat Iron

2. Eyewear

We do not say I'm wearing a glass but we say we wear glasses. Eyewears such as glasses, contact lenses, sunglasses, shades, goggles or even binoculars are ALL plural. 

Rationally, we can relate this to the fact that these eyewears are made of two connected parts, resulting in the plurality. 

3. Clothes

My curiosity of why we never use 'clothe' has always been unanswered. But I know clothes may refer to shirts, pants, jackets etc. so it should always be plural. However, certain types of clothings are strictly plural, even though it refers to a single unit. For instance:

 Pants

 Shorts 

 Jeans

Bell Bottoms

So all these clothings we wear with separate enclosures for our legs come in plural form. Other examples include leggings, tights, trousers, and skinnies. Even pyjamas (or pajamas in US English) is plural because it's a combination of a top and bottom.  

4. Underwear

*sorry, no photos for this :P

As I've mentioned, clothes refer to a wide range of clothings. Underwear however, is singular. Yet, distinctively, those that come under underwear are mostly plural. For example, panties, boxers, drawers and briefs. Same concept here - the separate enclosures for our legs. 

BUT why are thong/t-back singular? So is the bra (which has strong resemblance to goggles or glasses, no?)!

So yeah, English, as I've said, is funny and weird sometimes. But it's fun! Happy learning :)

Disclaimer: I do not label myself as an English expert but sharing also means learning. Nobody has perfect English but I believe learning knows no boundary. Feel free to correct me by commenting on my blog or Facebook posts/profile. I also welcome suggestions, ideas and any English-related info. 

15 Commonly Misspelled Words among Malaysian Students

One of the major issues that Malaysian students find it difficult to master is spelling. I have to confess I had a hard time remembering spellings of English words as some are so complex and confusing but it all boils down to hard work in remembering them. 

Here's a list of 15 common misspellings done by most of my students. 

1. Definitely 

NOT definately

I wonder why so many people, even those with good English could spell 'definitely' as 'definately'. There is no A in 'definitely'. 

2. Accidentally

NOT accidently

This word is commonly misspelled as 'accidently' but accident is one of the few words which cannot be merged directly with -ly. 

Similar:
Incidentally NOT incidently

3. Judgement

NOT judgment

Some people get very confused whether there is an 'e' in judgement or not. To make things clear, we get back to the basics that Malaysia abides with UK English hence judgement instead of the US's judgment. Students in Malaysia will NOT be penalized for using both judgement and judgment but isn't it better to spell correctly?

Similar: 
Argument NOT arguement, 
Instalment NOT installment (American) 

4. A lot

NOT alot

I've seen many using the term 'alot' as if it's a single word but there is no 'alot' in English. There should be a space in between them. 

5. Maintenance

NOT maintainance

The word 'maintenance' originates from 'maintain' which carries the meaning to sustain something. However, you don't just add 'ance' to the word; you change it to 'maintenance'. 

6. Surprise

NOT suprise

I often encounter students eating away the letter 'r' to make a 'su-prise'. 

7. Pronunciation

NOT pronounciation

You pronounce a word using its pronunciation but not 'pronounciation'. 

8. Explanation

NOT explaination

When you wish to use the noun form of the verb 'explain', remove the 'i' and add 'ation' at the end. 

9. Occasion

NOT occassion or ocassion

Only one 's' is needed for occasion. 

10. Accommodation 

NOT acomodation, accomodation, or acommodation

Always remember that accommodation has two doubles, the 'c' and 'm'. 

11. Until 

NOT untill

'Till' has two 'l's but until has a single 'l'. 

12. Receive

NOT recieve

Many of my students tend to switch the place of 'i' and 'e'. 

Similar: 
Deceive NOT decieve
Perceive NOT percieve

However, achieve is different. 

13. Knowledge

NOT knowlege

Do not forget the letter 'd'. However, privilege has no 'd'. English is weird, I know. 

14. Forty

NOT fourty

4 = four
14 = fourteen
14th = fourteenth 
40 = forty
40th = fortieth
40s = forties 

15. Curiosity

NOT curiousity

You're curious but when you say curiosity, remove the letter 'u'. 

So there you go. Spelling English words the right and proper way. Good luck! 


Disclaimer: I do not label myself as an English expert but sharing also means learning. Nobody has perfect English but I believe learning knows no boundary. Feel free to correct me by commenting on my blog or Facebook posts/profile. I also welcome suggestions, ideas and any English-related info. 

13 Grammar Mistakes Malaysians Should NOT Make

Like many other languages in the world, Grammar constitutes a large part of English and if you fail Grammar, you fail English. Nevertheless, Grammar is a very complex and convoluted section that many have problems coping with. 

Grammar is taught directly to students in very distinctive parts. For example, tenses, pronouns, verbs, adjectives etc. Some students are able to connect the topics and create an English network in their brain thus they are capable of using them the right way. But those who cannot see the link between these separate aspects may fail to master English. These are the basic common errors that my students and people around me often make. 

1. THEN / THAN

Then is used to say 'after that', meaning a subsequent action taken after a first is done. For example:

I am going to eat now. Then I will take a shower. 

Than is used for comparisons. It is used after a comparative adjective. For example:

Marie is taller than her sister. 

2. MANY / MUCH

Many is used for countable nouns whereas much refers to uncountable nouns. For example:

I have many friends. (because we can count our friends)

I love my mother very much. (because we cannot count love)

3. THOUGHT / TAUGHT

Thought is something you have in mind while taught is the past tense for teach. Examples:

I thought you weren't coming. 

Mrs. Tan taught me Grammar in school today. 

4. LOSE / LOOSE

Lose is the opposite (antonym) of win. You'd say 'I am not going to lose'. However, loose implies the opposite of tight. For example, 'The pants is too loose for me'. 

5. AFFECT / EFFECT

Affect is a verb while effect is a noun. You use affect when somebody or something influences another. For example:

The weather affects my mood today. 

Effect, on the other hand, is the consequences of somebody's action or an occurrence. Using the above example:

The effect of a bad weather is a bad mood. 

6. PRACTISE / PRACTICE & ADVISE / ADVICE

When do you use 'S' or 'C'?

NOUN: practice, advice

VERB: practise, advise

Examples:

I am going to practise my piano later. 

I have piano practice later.

My sister advises me not to skip class. 

My sister gave me a good advice. 

7. TO / WILL / SHALL / SHOULD / WOULD / CAN / COULD / MAY / MIGHT

Always use the ORIGINAL form of word after the above words. You can't say 'I am going to ate my lunch' or 'I should bought the computer'. 

Example of original form of a word: BREAK and NOT breaks, breaking or broke

8. I / ME

'I' should be used as the subject of a sentence while 'me' is an object in a sentence. Usually, the subject is used in front of a sentence or phrase (the person performing the action) while object is used at the back of a sentence or phrase (an action is done towards the person). For example,

I am going to work. (The person I is doing the action of going to work)

My boss will bring me for lunch today. (Bring is the action done towards me)

9. YOUR / YOU'RE

I was wondering if I should highlight this but this seems to be a pretty serious mistake done by most people, especially those who love using short forms on the internet or via text messages. 

As obvious as it is, 'your' is a pronoun that carries a meaning of possession while 'you're' is the short for 'you are'. 

10. THEY'RE / THEIR / THERE

This is very severe mistake done by my students who are still unable to differentiate the three even after years of learning English. 

They're  refers to "They are" which could be followed by a verb, noun or adjective. For example:

VERB: They're eating. 

NOUN: They're students. 

ADJECTIVE: They're tall. 

Their is a pronoun used to refer possession to a group of people. For example: 

The girls love their mothers. 'Their' here refers to the girls. 

There is an adverb to point to a specific place or to generalize something within a bounded area. For example:

There is a kitten in the box. A specific place - box

There are many place in the supermarket. A bounded area - supermarket

11. ITS / IT'S

The usage of its and it's tells me how vast the difference an apostrophe makes. 

Its is a pronoun used to refer possession to an animal, baby of unknown gender or a non-living thing. For example, 

The cat is licking its tail. 'Its' here refers to the cat.

It's simply means it is. 

12. ONE OF THE 

When you intend to say "one of the", the noun that follows must be plural. For example:

One of the boys in my class, One of the children here, etc. 

13. PROBABLY / PROPERLY

I've seen people using probably as properly and vice versa. 

Probably = maybe, perhaps
Properly = doing it the right or correct way

There are many more but these are the very basic ones. 

Thank you for reading! 

SPM

Exactly eight years ago, I was as nervous, anxious and worried as the SPM candidates of 2013 who will be collecting their SPM results tomorrow. Back then, I was profoundly influenced by my peers and teachers that SPM is almost the biggest deal on earth - I couldn't afford to fail it. In fact, getting a C for me would cause me an almost-dying effect. Yes, I was that "kiasu" (scared to lose) in academics. 

I still remember prior to that "date", I had dreams about getting my results. I can recall that there were two dreams; in one of it, I was showing my very perfect (10As) results to my belated grandmother who passed away a year plus before I sat for my SPM and she was extremely happy. Another dream happened that my SPM results were only mediocre (5As I guess). 

I didn't dare to aim high as I was a very timid girl and I feared disappointment very much so I'd rather aim for something lower and feel happier for it. I told my friends who were eager to obtain straight A1s that it would never be my goal to have straight As, let alone straight A1s (now A+). My confidence in several subjects (History, especially!) was so low I was afraid they might turn out to be a disappointing C. 

When the judgement day finally arrived, I let go all of my emotions and went to the teacher with an open heart. I told myself that I have decided to accept whatever the results might be and I was ultimately prepared to fail my History because I only answered less than half of the subjective questions. 

I got straight As. Yes, all As - 7A1s and 3A2s (History, Biology and EST).

Wow, I was extremely dumbfounded but joyful at the same time - it was like a miracle falling from the sky. It was way beyond my expectations and I felt like I am one of the smartest in the world (hyperbole, haha!). 

But the exuberance didn't last any more than a mere several days. Yes, my family was proud of me and everyone who knew about it congratulated me. Yet nothing beyond that. 

With such results, I couldn't even nail a scholarship to study anything prestigious. My aim was to take up a pharmacy course but even people with straight A1s couldn't get a scholarship, let alone my results. I wasn't really disappointed but I envied my friend who was of a difference race with slightly lower results yet she received offers that I would never get. I couldn't even enter Matriculation! Yeah, people rumoured that matriculation is only meant for Bumiputras or non-Bumis who are living in outskirts. WTF

And so I went to Form 6 (STPM) like some of my friends and SPM results didn't matter anymore. Nobody asked what my results were and nobody gave a damn. 

Even until today, having people questioning me about my SPM results is a very rare occurrence. 10As on the SPM certificate is just as plain as a piece of paper. In fact, a blood donation certification seems more valuable than that. Like most people agree, SPM standards are so low anyone could get an A. 

Some people say SPM is a transition period - the results are vital for scholarships and tertiary education opportunities. Yes, they are but only if your results are damn good. Perfect A+s I mean. Or to students whose results do not revolve around As but the number of passes then yeah, you need a minimum number of passes to qualify an enrollment in a college. And of course, only a pass in BM (and now History as well) will enable you to obtain your SPM certificate, which in time, you would either hide it somewhere unknown or lose it. 

What I'm trying to convey here is, academic results are simply nothing. It doesn't reflect who you are and it doesn't determine who or what you will become. Good results might bring you some privilege educational opportunities others may never qualify but at the end of the day, your results won't deliver success to you because you decide on your life, actions, efforts and paths. 

Still, all the best SPM 2013 candidates! 

Some of whom are my ex-students. Be happy or sad ... just for a while. 

World Vision Child Sponsorship

Disclaimer: This is NOT an ad. 

I am writing about this because I personally feel it's my utmost right to spread goodness and act of kindness to every soul I know. World Vision is a charitable and humanitarian organization working to help and improve the lives of children, families and communities by tackling their poverty and injustice. Yes, it is a Christian organization but trust me, charity knows no race and World Vision provides aid to various places mostly in underdeveloped countries. 

What I feel best about World Vision is its Child Sponsorship program. It is very very meaningful - you pay RM65 a month to sponsor a child from a country you select and you can even interact with them via mail. You can send them gifts and share stories with them. You can also visit any places where World Vision is aiding, probably taking the opportunity to visit your sponsor child. 

My sponsor child is Le Thi Hoa from Vietnam. She is now 14 years old. It has been almost 6 years (2008-2014) since I became her sponsor. 

World Vision is the best alternative channel for you to do some good deeds if you do not know how. It only takes you RM65 a month (save a little on your booze, shopping, or unnecessary splurging, maybe?) and you would make a huge load of difference in a child's life. Visit here for more information on how to sponsor a child!

My View of Valentine's Day

Time passes so quickly that without realizing, Valentine's is just the day after today. Well, I stumbled upon Janechuck's blog post about celebrating Valentine's Day and for the first time, I agree with her. haha! Yeah, I am not really fond of her but after reading this post, I might (MIGHT) change my perspective towards her. 

Speaking of Valentine's Day, as niche as it may sound, I truly believe that everyday is a Valentine's Day if a couple is happy enough being together. Of course, why would a couple only be good and sweet and romantic to each other on a very particular day in a year when they could do so the entire 365 days? 

I think the best and sweetest Valentine's celebration is a simple dinner (better if self-cooked, otherwise a normal restaurant is more than enough), followed by the couple cuddling to watch a romantic or their favourite movie together. There is definitely no need to spend on posh meals (candlelight dinner?), overrated and overpriced flowers (that would eventually die), and other lovey dovey gifts. BUT if your gift is a handmade card, then it's perfectly awesome. I always look up more upon sincerity than monetary. 

You might think that I am too self-conscious about money but I confess that I really am. What I feel is, if a couple were serious about being together in a long-lasting relationship, they should be money conscious, considering the inflation that is occurring right now. I prefer to save for a better and more realistic future. 

Some people might say, Valentine's is a good excuse for boyfriends/husbands to pamper their spouses but you don't really need an occasion to pamper your girlfriends/wives, do you? 

And Jane is right, some people misuse Valentine's celebration as a show-off tool to compete with their girlfriends. Let me tell you, true love is never comparable, it is not measurable through materials - it is the heart that counts. It is the longevity and strength of your love that matters at the end of the day. 

Therefore, I say my man is a lucky man because I do not demand for luxurious gifts or fine dinings for the day's celebration. I even told him on the first day when we got together, "Do not waste money by buying me flowers, just bring me for a simple dinner on Valentine's Day". 

Happy Valentine's Day dear 

Thank you for being my Valentine! <3

Adults are ALWAYS RIGHT

I seem to discover and discuss so much about parenting nowadays - my student and a book about parenting. Very likely it's due to the age growth and I may become a parent some time in the near future (near future implies years for me, haha). 

Out a of a random thought, I came to ponder about the saying "adults are always right". It may be true to a certain extent but despite most parents being aware that this saying could be wrong, they insist to enforce their authority on children because they are the parents. They are the financial, shelter and protection provider. 

When I was young, each time I felt my parent(s) was wrong, I couldn't muster the guts to rebel. I felt so powerless and the only thing I could do was comply and obey. But now when I'm already an adult (i know i'm always a baby in their eyes), my parents are the same - they still impose their authority unto me by thinking they are always right. 

The other day when I was speaking in the phone, my dad was telling me things when he clearly knew I was talking with the other party over the phone. I got annoyed and said, "Can't you see I am talking in the phone and why are you still telling me things? I can't even hear anything!". Instead of stopping, he snapped me back, "Do important things first, your talking in the phone isn't important at all!". BUT the issue here isn't about the importance of the call, it was about the fundamental respect that he should have for me. IF he were the one in the phone and I mumble next to him, I can never imagine how angry he could have got. YET I can never have my temper burst out to him because he's my dad and he deserves all my respect? 

Well, I ain't whining about my dad but this is the closest example that I can think of right now. Is it a right thing to do for parents to use or sometimes misuse their parental authority on children? In fact, some parents (including mine) are so ego they wouldn't ever apologize if they have done anything wrong. I am thinking it could be the culture problem where parents were raised in such a way thus they are subconsciously imposing the same method on their children. 

But I think such an act would bring about negative impact on children. In school, the elderly people that kids encounter are teachers and with what they practise at home, they might also think teachers are always right (which is certainly not) and fear to rebel or stand up for themselves. What if a male teacher sexually harrasses a female student and because she thinks teachers are always right, she silences herself?

Children should be raised and taught to have their own mindset, to learn and distinguish right from wrong by themselves. They will NOT understand if something is good or bad just by listening to what their parents say. So instead of being harsh and asking children to just "listen and obey", parents should "tell and explain why". If you cannot figure out an explanation, look for an answer (not any crappy ones but logical, sensible reasons) to convince your kids!