5 Things I Learned From Doing Charity

Some of you may not know but I am a charitable person. What I mean with this is I often perform good deeds within my means. I can't say I am a philanthropist but I wish to become one in the future. Perhaps through family influence or an inborn nature, I have this strong compassion to help make the world a better place. And I believe what I can do is to give and share what I have with the less fortunate. 

At one point of my life, I had this gigantic dream to be the founder of a huge humanitarian association, maybe something like World Vision (I always use this as example because I like their concept and system, except Famine 30 lol). But I know this is a dream not easily achievable. So I decided to take one step at a time because every single human being is capable of giving/sharing. Charity isn't only available in monetary form but also in labour, words, items etc. 

My sponsor child in Vietnam, currently 16 years old already (sponsoring her since she's 9)

Today I am sharing my experience with you guys on what I've learned through the years of doing a small scale charity. I started way back in 2004 when I was still a Form 4 student in SMK Convent, Klang. I still am a student and donating and helping the less fortunate has become a habit for me. Currently, I am a sponsor of a child in Vietnam via World Vision (monthly donation of RM65) and I visit/donate to old folks home, hospices, orphanages, handicapped homes, etc. on a regular basis. 

1. I learned to see how fortunate I am 

Like everyone else, I had times when I whined about what I was deprived of (or so I thought). I didn't have a silver spoon and I couldn't possibly possess some of the things my friends had due to my parents' unaffordability. But no, I didn't lack any of the necessities I needed. My parents provided me with a comfortable shade I called home, a perfect source of education (along with tuition and tonnes of books), nutritious food and a conducive environment to grow up in. But humans are greedy so I didn't realize how lucky I was until ...

My aunt brought to the handicapped centre (Pusat Kanak-kanak Cacat) in Port Klang. I saw how some of the kids there were Down Syndrome and all their lives, they had to be bedridden. They couldn't speak, sit or express themselves. There were others who were blind and those who had the ability to walk around and socialize, were retarded. Most of them were abandoned there by their parents. 

And I went home digesting the flashes of images in my mind. Some time after that, the realization hit me that I have been very very fortunate all this while. Slowly, I found myself complaining lesser and lesser (cannot totally wipe this off though, it's human nature to complain, haha!). I have learned not to pinpoint what I lack but to cherish what I have. 

2. I learned how a small effort is capable of making a huge difference to a person

I can't recall how I got to know World Vision but I just did. I stumbled upon their Child Sponsorship programme and I thought it was really cool. I pay RM50 (back then it was RM50) and someone else in another country would receive it. Little that I know that World Vision doesn't hand the money directly to them but accumulate them all together to assist them in ways that they need. 

I pondered to myself if I could afford to pay RM50 a month, equalling to RM600 a year! But then I thought, well, I could cut down on my expenses. So without hesitating, I signed myself up as a sponsor and until today, I have been religiously paying the monthly stipend to my "child" in Vietnam. 

Every year, World Vision will send me a progress report and every other month or so I will receive a letter from my "child" telling me about her life or drawing me something cute. I see how she has grown from a young little girl to a teenager now. And from a small town with almost nothing (no water, electricity and telephone line), World Vision has helped to bring in fundamental resources as well as build hospital, school, etc. 

It feels really magical how someone who is completely unknown to me, speaks a totally different language, lives some 1404 miles away, has a bond with me. And I feel exceptionally great that my meagre amount of RM50 (or 65) has shed so much light in the life of this young girl. 

3. I learned that karma isn't a bitch

People say when you do something good, it will return to you. As the Chinese saying goes, 好心有好报. I didn't quite believe this because I thought life is all up to you to conquer and control. My belief changed after I began performing good deeds. 

I can't say I have physically or literally seen how my they returned to me but I can somehow feel it. I still encounter problems, get involved in troubles, battle with obstacles but I can feel how something with profound power has been helping me to overcome all these. 

It doesn't return in a direct or immediate manner but rather, with time and patience, you'd be able to see or feel it. The only thing you need to have is faith. 

4. I have become less religionist 

I learned that religion is a faith you hold onto as a guide in life but a religionist does not necessarily have a good heart. We've seen this in movies (Hong Kong ones especially) how gangsters, loan sharks or people of the black market prays enthusiastically to "God". And in reality, I've seen and met such people too. 

They go completely hoo-ha about their religion and how it is the best in the world and yet they're doing bad things behind their religion. Some say their religion forbid them in eating certain things but they end up not walking what they talk. 

I have come to believe that religion doesn't determine a person's morale. It is an individual thing. ALL religions in the world are good; there is NO religion that teaches doing evil stuffs. But I truly despise those who misuse their religion or not doing what they preach. 

5. I learned the true value of money

My monthly commitment of the child sponsorship programme as well as occasionally visits and donations will definitely take its toll on my finance. My part time job does not generate a wealthy pool of money and every cent is earned through hard work. Therefore, I learned to prioritise and weigh the importance of certain things over the others. 

I spend very minimally on shopping. I do not have a monthly habit of buying clothes, bags or shoes. I do not club or splurge on alcohol. I do not spend on unnecessary items. But I am generous to spend on food, travel and my parents. 

I hope all of you will benefit from this writing of mine. 

Thank you for reading! 

Are you pronouncing these words the WRONG way?

Mispronunciations are another major issue in English, especially for non-native speakers like many of us Malaysians. We struggle to fathom why certain words are pronounced as they are when our brain clearly deciphers it differently. For instance, why dessert and desert have different pronunciations when its difference is only an 's' but threw and through are pronounced the same way despite being totally dissimilar in spelling. 

1. blood, flood 

Most people pronounce 'blood' and 'flood' as if they sound like 'blurt' and 'flirt' but they're actually more towards 'blard' and 'flard'. Check out this video for the correct pronunciation. 

2. Honest/Hour/all the silent H

I have students telling me how they 'hor-nest' they are. But the fact is, all these 'h's are silent. Meaning, you say 'o-nest' for 'honest' and 'our' for 'hour'. 

3. Espresso 

This word is often mispronounced as expresso when it's supposed to be 'es-pres-so'. 

3. Suite

Have you ever since the label 'Presidential Suite' when you visit hotels/resorts? The word 'suite' seems to have stronger resemblance to 'suit' but it's actually pronounced similarly to 'sweet'. 

4. Hyperbole

This is a mispronunciation that I've been doing myself too (but I've always been curious because it didn't sound right) so now I know! 'Hyperbole' implies an exaggerating effect and it's not pronounced as 'hyper-bowl' because a bowl cannot be overly exaggerated. It's pronounced as 'hyper-boh-lee'. 

5. Cache 

'Cache' is often mispronounced as 'ca-shay' but this pronunciation belongs to cachet, which means the state of being respected. 'Cache', carrying the meaning of a group of hidden items stored in a hidden place, is pronounced just like how you say 'cash'. 

6. Niche

Just like cache, 'niche' should end with a soft -sh so it's wrong when people say 'nitch' because it's supposed to be 'neesh'. 'Niche' carries two meanings: a shallow recess usually in a wall to place an ornament OR a suitable position in life or employment. 

7. Buoy

'Buoy' isn't any different from 'boy', in pronunciation. It simply means a float or keep someone/something afloat. 

8. Debris

Here, the 's' is silent so you pronounce it as 'de-bree'. 

9. Mischievous

Very often, this word is misspelled and mispronounced as 'mischievious'. It should be 'mis-chie-vous' without the 'i'. It implies naughty or playful. 

10. Subtle 

'Subtle' is pronounced as 'suh-tull' with a silent b, meaning delicately complex and difficult to describe. 

11. Queue / Quay

'Queue' is pronounced as 'cue' while 'quay' is read as 'key'. Quay, for your information, is similar to a pier or jetty. 

12. Athlete 

The word 'athlete' should be pronounced with only two syllables - 'ath-lete' and not 'a-the-lete'. 

So there you go, pronouncing English words the English way. Yes, I do agree English words have tricky pronunciation but have fun learning! 

Disclaimer: I do not label myself as an English expert but sharing also means learning. Nobody has perfect English but I believe learning knows no boundary. Feel free to correct me by commenting on my blog or Facebook posts/profile. I also welcome suggestions, ideas and any English-related info. 

How My Boyfriend Made Me a Better Person

Upon reading Timothy Tiah's blog on the ways his wife made him a better person, I became inspired to write about mine too. I actually wanted to write something similar long ago but didn't manage to take initiative to do so. 

I guess it makes a person wanting to share how his/her partner makes him/her a better person only when it's really true. But I beg to differ something Timothy mentioned. He said most of the time, a partner is going to bring upon positive changes to you. To me, only the right partner does because if you're being with a bad/wrong one, he/she will never make you a better person. Well, this is according to my own experiences. 

First of all, let me briefly introduce my partner, Kingsley and I. 

I am not going to reveal much here but I have to say he's not only my boyfriend, he's also my soulmate, work partner, best friend and almost like a family!

So how have I positively changed since I met him?

1. I did things I never knew I could

Somehow he managed to trigger all the buttons in me to perform, strive and achieve things I didn't know I could. He told me to start a blog, he encouraged me to do three things at once (study, blog, tutoring) and recently, he urged me to get a camera. He always tells me how I should have more confidence, more adamant and more ambitious. 

2. I learned photography from him

Two years ago, if you told/ask me anything about photography, I'd give you a blank stare or simply shun you off. But now, I can roughly interact with anyone about photography. Well, not too technical or sophisticated but at least I am now passionate to learn and improve. I didn't think taking photos mean so much hard work but now I fathom why. 

3. I learned to watch American Series

To me, this is a positive change. Despite being a banana (meaning, Chinese illiterate), I used to have strong Chinese-y attributes in me. I loved Chinese songs and I mostly watched Chinese dramas (Hong Kong and Taiwan). But Kingsley is an avid fan of American Series and on average, he has 30 series to watch every week! So God knows how he talked me into watching Prison Break and snapped, I began loving the American style and now I'm hooked onto a few series myself, namely Suits, The 100, Arrow, Under The Dome and recently I started Breaking Bad (I'm slow I know). So come talk to me about these series! But not Game of Thrones please (God knows why I just don't fancy it). 

4. I learned to eat and be really picky about food

The me before meeting him was extremely "cincai" when it came to food. I was so not picky about food to the extent that food was merely something to keep my stomach filled and an energy source. Don't take me wrong, I have a dad who brings me around for good food but I wouldn't have high expectations. Now, I have learned to savour, appreciate, comment and even criticise. But of course, I am still less fastidious than him in this aspect. I can accept eating anything mediocre as long as it's within my acceptable taste boundary. 

5. I have learned to love, tolerate and be in a relationship

I am one who doesn't like being in a wrong relationship so whenever I sense something not right, I would choose to leave. I have this belief that being alone is better than being with a wrong partner. But I can confess Kingsley is the right one. Half of him is just like half of me, if you get what I mean. We're similar in many many ways and probably this is the reason why we can get along very well. But as days passed, we realized we do have differences and thankfully, we have strong mutual appreciation. 

Why do I say I have learned to be in a relationship? Frankly speaking, I used to doubt myself whenever I was with my ex-es but now, I am totally in the relationship without doubts. I don't worry about whether I should leave him or if I am wasting my time or anxious about our future. 

I feel this is incredibly important because if you do not enjoy being in the relationship, it also implies you are not being yourself and why are you still clinging onto the wrong partner?

So yeah, for now I have five strong points to say how he has helped me become a better person. I hope he feels the same way! :)